weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
