I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
