i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
