If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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