Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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