I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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