Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ragdollfairy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England

Fav 63 17503 1634
share tweet
(440): View more from Ohio

woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.

Fav 28 1631 5418
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.

Fav 13 6819 1263
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"

Fav 7 2722 1305
share tweet
(573): View more from Missouri

He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.

Fav 6 2855 878
share tweet
(415): View more from California

I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game

Fav 5 1194 626
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(480): View more from Arizona

Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.

Fav 2 1132 545
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.

Fav 1 832 520
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(586): View more from Michigan

Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.

(810): View more from Michigan

I hate you so hard.

Fav 0 110 16
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT