i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
