well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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