I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
