Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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