evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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