their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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