is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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