CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
