Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
