wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just gargled with NyQuil
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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