I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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