she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just had sex on a roof
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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