Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
