it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
