Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
