I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
