Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
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