I'm so fucking centered right now
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
