he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
