I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Do vagina's smell?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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