we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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