Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I am mentally ready for anal.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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