just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize