Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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