oh god the rape fog is back!
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
