If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
