My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
