Soap is not a condiment
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize