U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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