i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
