If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you would pick up someone in the library
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
