How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
