so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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