Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
