just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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