I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
