I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
