So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
