You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
