Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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