im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
