Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
