I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
