i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
