To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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