They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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