Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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